The adventures of ericdb

I am heading out this weekend for south Texas.

Gonna hit Austin a few times, San Antonio, Corpus Christi, Dallas, and then fly through Vegas on the way home.

I think I finally have this vacation stuff figured out.

I start with friends, then move to the mom's side of the family for a few days, then go down to see friends, then my dad, then some more friends, then to Vegas to blow all my money.

Balance is key. Never too long in one place.



I should be able to see some good bands in SXSW in Austin the first week I am in town.

I already have plans to see a few women I used to have fun with, however, one is married now.

Gonna hit the big St. Patrick's day party in Dallas.

Get to see how my step dad is holding up.

One fun thing is that in Vegas a group of grad students are meeting me there, as well as my normal Vegas crowd of rowdy biker ex Marines. :D Should make for interesting dynamics. I am guessing I will have to spend time with both separately.



I have a laptop now (that I am going to start using one day), so I will pop in from time to time when I need my Walnut fix. :)

Hopefully I will have some fun stories when I get back.

Has anyone ever swallowed their pride, and just told your friends something that you thought that you might never tell anyone?

Held your breath waiting for a response, nervous.

Then were completely ignored.

Maybe from fear of the moment, maybe from just not giving a shit.

Wish I would have kept my mouth shut.

Me: Hi >smiles<

Mom: >smiles<

young boy about 5ish: You look like a monster?

Mom: That's not a nice thing to say. >while smirking<

Me: I am a Monster.

young boy about 5ish: >semi shocked look<

Mom: >concerned look<

Me: But, I am a good monster.

young boy about 5ish: oooooh


Me: bye bye

Mom: bye

young boy about 5ish: bye nice monster

I guess I am not a pretty as I thought I was. :D He was a little pal though.

I tried this website out where you are randomly connected to people and chat with them.

It was kind of fun at first, but I quickly learned the truth of the matter.

1) All guys.

2) No one talked to me. Except one, but I ended that conversation fast. Polite... but fast.

So my excitement died down quickly. Just a bunch of guys getting ready to show there cocks to anyone that will look. But I did browse a bit, sitting in my PJs sipping wine.

Highlights...

There was a guy that was under his blanket wanking, with just his head sticking out to see who was chatting. :D

The only guy other than the gay guy to not disconnect me was some strange shadow character with his brightness turned down real low so I could only see his eyes. Spooky.

I saw my mentors (bosses) neighbor!!! I wonder if he is thinking right now, "Was that Eric?" :D

So that is it. I might try again in the daytime. Maybe there with be some more friendly (less horny) people around then.

Also, I don't want to seem like I am on a high horse here. I just want to be polite before I show my cock. I assume that women that go on this thing are there to explore cocks. They would have to be. If they even exist.


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So tonight, since I am a total moron, I got dressed up in my Halloween costume (Rorschach from the Watchmen) and browsed around the random cam domain. There were some girls this time, but much more guys. I definitely got more reactions and people to talk to me for a bit. I think people go on there to be shocked, because people just sitting there get passed over. Maybe I'll do my Hannibal Lector bit from the challenges next time.

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OK, so I have completely worn out the newness of this website. Only 48 hours, and I am bored. I think I am done with this place.

Talked with 4-5 reasonable people (young and old)...

had ONE girl talk to me...

was told I was an old pervert by 2 separate groups of girls...

was shown balls by a group of frat boys...

Sang 'Black or White' (Micheal Jackson) with some guy...

was flicked off a dozen times...

people attempted to make me feel insecure with myself 3-4 times (telling me I'm ugly and whatnot)...

A demon masked guy staring at me. I thought I would best him, but after five minutes I had to give up...

Saw one girl rubbing her clit like something crazy for about 30 seconds...

saw 30-40 guys jacking off...

saw 2 pairs of titties...

danced with two separate guys for 4-5 minutes to various music titles. They like you after that...

had three Marine ROTC boys call me a hippie...

favorite line: "Look at him drinking a beer, likes he's cool." :D

...but mostly it can all be summed up in three categories...
1) People playing with themselves.
2) groups of young girls or guys trying to make fun of you (girls are mean).
3) People trying to make you laugh (and/or shock you).

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OK, so one more experiment. I went in which the owl glasses and lab coat for 15 minutes, and I went in shirtless with a ball cap for 15 minutes. Interesting indeed. I was made fun of for being old, blind, stupid, and a dork for the first 15 minutes, and then I was made fun of for "having my life figured out" and being gay the last 15 minutes. I think people just like to make fun of people. It makes me sad. What do they lack in their lives? Just sad! But funny also, from my point of view. Nothing quite like a pizza faced 22 year old who can't speak with his cap on sideways telling you your flaws. :D

Though after all that negativity... I did find at least one guy in every 30 or so, from many countries all over the world, that would have a short conversation with me and replenish my faith. Life is fun, this website is not.

So, I have done this cycle for the last... probably 6-7 years. I will go without companionship for months, then about twice a year, I go though about a two month period where I try to get back into the "game".

Over the last few months I have been on "dates", hung out with a really cool wild girl for a few weeks, got lucky with a few girls, and most recently had a disappointing episode involving to much booze. I always come out of it depressed. I don't mean to sound like I am complaining here, it is just the way I am. It always leaves me flat. Then I regress and do my own thing for a while with no pursuit of women what so ever.

It is just the women cheating on men, men cheating on women, dealing with all of the extras, failed intercourses due to uninhibited alcohol consumption, being cock blocked by the instilling of small penis fear, etc. The last one is obviously more specific to my recent predicament, but it all comes down to the fact that I can't get past in my own mind that people can be so disappointing. I am sure a lot of people find me disappointing and think I am to much of a softy. But it is who I am.

So yet again I am through dealing with these situations that just continually depress me. I know everyone is different, and I know that there is a good chance that the "scene" that I chose to hang out in plays a large role, but I can feel the change again. No desire to go on dates, no desire to pursue women, no desire to go out and try and meet people, no desire for intimate personal interaction for a bit.

Oh, it will come back. I am guessing May, start of summer, I will decide to try again for a while. And like always and with everything there will be successes and failures. I think I can only take so much for so long though.

A cute cowgirl flirted with me last night, and I returned the favor. It was one of those situations where I would have had to try not to get laid. I few times I would sneak a kiss, or place her hand on my crotch, or rub hers while pressing against her backside. The flirting progressed rapidly throughout the night, and we eventually ended up back at my shack.

She was fun, and a good kisser, but it was the normal Friday night. I was drunk, and once we had undressed one another we both soon realized that I wasn't going to be able to perform.

There is nothing more frustrating in the world than having a cute, freckle faced girl ten years my junior desperately cramming my flaccid penis inside her after having been heated up all night by me. The disappointment in her face was very apparent. I managed to make some jokes, but it didn't relieve my disappointment, let alone hers.

I figured might as well do something fun, so I told her to sit on my face. After some riding, this soon turned into a 69 position, which mildly got me going again. So... she went for a second try, in vain.

She soon left, very unsatisfied, and very disappointed. :-[

Probably the last time that cowgirl takes home a drunken older man. Of course if I see her again at uni I will not allow the situation to be awkward, but I will still see the disappointment in her eyes.

Maybe it is time to slow my drinking down. I am getting old I suppose.

Sorry for not blogging for a while, work has been crazy. OK, so I have just been lazy.

I had some fun for a while with a 23 year old girl. Little wild thing! She actually turned out to be really cool, we hang out at least once a week now, but my chance has passed. While we did have some fun together, I never asked her to try and be dominant with me. Now, she is back with her boyfriend who she loves, and I missed my opportunity. :(

Basically, she started getting rough with me when we would hang out. It started with slaps, and soon escalated into biting my fingers and neck in public. The last few times she even grabbed me and would tell me what to do. Slowly, I think she could see that I liked what she was doing to me, so she would get more and more aggressive every time we would hang out. I think she is a born dom, but it never translated into anything when we were alone, and now she is nice to me since she is back with her boyfriend. I guess jumping on my lap and biting me might make someone upset. :) I should have just asked her, but now it is too late.

Oh well, another chance to be dominated out the window. Maybe I will just pay for it? Any updates on you becoming a pro-dom dawnie? ;)

I am playing hooky today, but I am getting bored. Maybe I will go write at the coffee shop this afternoon. There is a sexy, funny woman that works there I know. Maybe it is time to step up my pursuit? I doubt she is dominant though. Or, maybe I will go up to work. Not sure yet... just restless.

I haven't blogged in a bit, so I figured I catch the readers up.

I ended up hooking up with my friends friend. She is wild, cute, fun... and... twenty three. I faked my way though conversations, with the help of alcohol, just to find some kind of action since it has been so long. I mean, I can only talk about partying for so long. I am good at making people laugh, but I want to be challenged as well. We had some fun I guess, but I have made up my mind.

I am going to find some activities where I might have a chance of running into some older women.

One thing that did make me want to finish my PhD and get the fuck out of here is a conversation I had with a friend here recently. Basically she loves it here. And why wouldn't she? I was in the Marine Corps, and the women there loved it as well. Basically, in her words, 60% of the population is men, they are all hot and fit, and she is having the time of her life.

Me?

I have had less action in the last 4 years than I have had in my entire life, everyone woman here is boyfriend linked, I haven't been with a woman over twenty five except for those I met before they were twenty five, and now I am going younger? Young is fine, If I like talking with them. But fuck, I never have enjoyed faking interest in someone I find attractive just to get some action. This has been covered on the board many times, but I need some kind of mental/ friendship connection, or it is gone real quick (second time).


So where does a life long college student find older women? Do I just have to make impromptu moves on the street when I find a woman attractive and accept the fact that 9/10 will say "I have a husband or boyfriend?" Fuck I can't wait to get back to a real city. And to think I came here to get away from it all. Well, women weren't apart of that plan. :)


Oh, and I got another vote that the ass scar is cool! ;)

Well... none of this went according to plan. :)

We have been hanging out about three nights a week for the last two weeks, and having some good laughs and fun together, but I have not made any move yet. I guess I am just a cupcake. :D

I had no idea that some many guys were waiting in the wings to fuck her. I guess I shouldn't be surprised. I decided that I would just be her friend for the immediate future. If something happens, then great, but I will not force the issue anymore.

I think that she feels a bit over whelmed to be honest, and a little upset that all these guys are trying to fuck her now. She told me that she had sex with a 22 year old last week, and that the sex was crap. I said, "Well at least they can fuck like rabbits. It was probably good for you." She again told me that it wasn't very good sex at all, but I guess that comes with the territory. A brand new guy that doesn't know a woman at all compared to a guy she has been with for two years and knows her well. Maybe, but I am guessing. Maybe he was just crap?

Funny. On the other side, I have hit it off with a good friend of hers. She is a bit of a wild one, but she is cool, confident and funny. I went and saw her at work the other day, and we bullshited for a while.

So we will see how all this goes, but if step 3 just happens one night I will be sure to blog about it. :)

OK, so I was watching football with some friends today, one of which happened to be the ex husband of a friend of mine, and she came over to say hi to me during the game.

This took balls I thought. She was nice to her ex, and her ex roommate who apparently doesn't like her either, but she wanted to make sure they were not talking crap to me about her.

We hung out later today after everyone had left. We were very touchy as usual, and as previously stated in a post here, I am pursuing her now. I always grabbed her ass and such, and she would always rub up against me and get me hard, but now it isn't just play anymore because there is a real chance.

Maybe I should take a breath. It has been six months since I have had the intercourses after my surgery and all and I risk the chance of being overly aggressive to a friend who just broke up with her husband. Ah, fuck that. I am going in, and going in strong. :)

step 2 coming soon...