11/02: Modeling
I sometimes feel privileged or special to witness something that I know no one else saw. A funny or interesting moment that when I look around realize everyone is too busy with their lives to have noticed.
I was riding on the train back from the psychiatric outpatient clinic today and a mother with her 2 daughters came in and sat across from me. Her little one was maybe 3 years old and in a stroller. The mother and older daughter talked while the other few passengers stared at the floor fighting sleep or reading the newspaper.
The 3 year old was looking and an older Asian man sitting near her who began to rub his face. Then she started rubbing her face, holding her hands up in a "peek-a-boo" fashion, peeking at him between her fingers. Then the Asian man let out a big yawn. The little girl watch and yawned with him.
As she looked around and must have seen the people holding on to the metal poles because from her stroller she reached over and held the pole near her. She stayed like that for much of the ride and I thought it was the most adorable thing to have watched! I could see her brain assimilating all this information through her modeling behaviors.
Her mother and sister were still chatting and didn't notice any of it.
I walked home from the station in the snow, looking forward to starting a pediatrics residency next year.
I was riding on the train back from the psychiatric outpatient clinic today and a mother with her 2 daughters came in and sat across from me. Her little one was maybe 3 years old and in a stroller. The mother and older daughter talked while the other few passengers stared at the floor fighting sleep or reading the newspaper.
The 3 year old was looking and an older Asian man sitting near her who began to rub his face. Then she started rubbing her face, holding her hands up in a "peek-a-boo" fashion, peeking at him between her fingers. Then the Asian man let out a big yawn. The little girl watch and yawned with him.
As she looked around and must have seen the people holding on to the metal poles because from her stroller she reached over and held the pole near her. She stayed like that for much of the ride and I thought it was the most adorable thing to have watched! I could see her brain assimilating all this information through her modeling behaviors.
Her mother and sister were still chatting and didn't notice any of it.
I walked home from the station in the snow, looking forward to starting a pediatrics residency next year.
29/01: Se habla espanol
A lady I talk to online, that is not a member of this site, has been having me do some tasks and humiliating my penis recently. She wanted me to get some Magnum XL condoms and try them on so she could have a laugh at how loose they look on me. So I went to go buy some.
Meanwhile, I suffered from a medical ailment that needed some temporary relief. I thought, ok, I'll kill two birds with one stone at the pharmacy. So there I was, standing in line with a box of Magnum XL condoms and a tube of preparation H anti-hemorrhoidal! I wonder what they thought I would be up to later on that night! ;)
And now a completely unrelated story. I just got home from getting a haircut. As I posted before, I go to a very loud and enjoyable barber shop with lots of music and singing. While getting my haircut a man walked up to my barber and in Spanish asked how long he would be. I think he probably came for him specifically and if would be too long he would come back another time. He then asked, in spanish, if he had to do my beard too. "Yes, I think so" he replies. Then I decide to answer in spanish and clarify that I want him to trim it down, but doesn't have to shave me.
It seems I look more Middle Eastern than Hispanic because they began laughing loudly and were quite taken aback when they learned I spoke Spanish! He wanted to know if I go around and pretend I can't speak so that I could hear what people really thought.
He learned his lesson he said, and to always be careful what you say, you never know who is listening. I wasn't trying to fool anyone though, I just use English as default.
Anyway, he did a good job :)
Meanwhile, I suffered from a medical ailment that needed some temporary relief. I thought, ok, I'll kill two birds with one stone at the pharmacy. So there I was, standing in line with a box of Magnum XL condoms and a tube of preparation H anti-hemorrhoidal! I wonder what they thought I would be up to later on that night! ;)
And now a completely unrelated story. I just got home from getting a haircut. As I posted before, I go to a very loud and enjoyable barber shop with lots of music and singing. While getting my haircut a man walked up to my barber and in Spanish asked how long he would be. I think he probably came for him specifically and if would be too long he would come back another time. He then asked, in spanish, if he had to do my beard too. "Yes, I think so" he replies. Then I decide to answer in spanish and clarify that I want him to trim it down, but doesn't have to shave me.
It seems I look more Middle Eastern than Hispanic because they began laughing loudly and were quite taken aback when they learned I spoke Spanish! He wanted to know if I go around and pretend I can't speak so that I could hear what people really thought.
He learned his lesson he said, and to always be careful what you say, you never know who is listening. I wasn't trying to fool anyone though, I just use English as default.
Anyway, he did a good job :)
12/01: I'd marry her
I love this comic
http://xkcd.com
10/01: Recap
I'll turn 27 years old next month.
No girlfriend
No sex in over 2 years
$200,000 debt from school loans
Small penis
Oh yeah. This is exactly where I thought I'd be by now.
Although, not having a girlfriend is good considering how much my last break up hurt. Plus it gives me more time to be on here. But still, it would be nice to not always lie in bed alone.
Anyway, sorry, I've felt down this weekend and so this is all I have this week. You deserve better. Maybe next week.
Maybe.
No girlfriend
No sex in over 2 years
$200,000 debt from school loans
Small penis
Oh yeah. This is exactly where I thought I'd be by now.
Although, not having a girlfriend is good considering how much my last break up hurt. Plus it gives me more time to be on here. But still, it would be nice to not always lie in bed alone.
Anyway, sorry, I've felt down this weekend and so this is all I have this week. You deserve better. Maybe next week.
Maybe.
19/12: Happy Winter Solstice
I don't remember the last time a song made me happy and cry at the same time.
It starts off funny and with some blasphemy but it ends up beautiful.
I hope you all enjoy.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fCNvZqpa-7Q
Sorry, I couldn't make the link thing work, and I don't know how to embed it into the blog.
It starts off funny and with some blasphemy but it ends up beautiful.
I hope you all enjoy.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fCNvZqpa-7Q
Sorry, I couldn't make the link thing work, and I don't know how to embed it into the blog.
19/12: Annoyed
These are really two blogs in one, since I waited a while from when the first topic came up and when I got a second one I figured it was about time to blog.
I was walking home from the hospital and was walking behind a very well proportioned woman. She had curves in all the right places, and it was an enjoyable view on the walk home. However, I remembered how much I would hate to be a woman when during her walk she was intercepted by a group of 3 not-so-young-but-still-want-to-pretend-to-be guys. One stepped into her path and did a half bow and began to "spit game" at her, or whatever they call it. I have no "game" so it all seems so foreign to me. She shakes her head and tries to side-step him while he continues his no doubt insightful banter.
As she passed him he began to slap his friends on their backs and shoulders while they all laughed. "That's how he do!" said one of the friends to another, who must have been slightly less familiar with how their mutual friend in fact does. I get upset by this behavior since it reflects poorly on all us men. Now, I can't speak for what women do or do not find sexy. I hear a lot of talk about confidence being sexy in men, and I surely am not one to talk since I often freeze up and become timid (at least initially and during the first few meetings) with women I find attractive, but this has to be too far to the other extreme. Way beyond confident and into the realm of douchebaggery. They were bumping into each other, laughing, slapping palms, and I couldn't understand it. Was he REALLY trying to impress her, or was he showing off to his friends by showing how confident and "alpha" he is with women. "Look at me boys, I try to talk to every pretty woman with aggressive and confident tactics, clearly I am a masculine and macho man!" Or did he really have a hope that this woman would have stopped walking home and engaged him in whatever philosophical question he posed? Did he imagine that interaction ending any way other than it did??
I'd like to hear what women think about this behavior. Maybe I am just upset he can do what I can't?
The second thing I was going to talk about was the weather. Fucking snow. I'm over that. Looks beautiful, it does. But I can't wait to get back to Miami, if even for just 2 weeks. However, I thought about another topic while ranting about the first one that I want to go in to.
Normally, there is one member here that helps me put things into better perspective when I am in a frazzle about women. This time however, I decided to just post this here and maybe spare her from once again hearing my troubles. Though, to be fair, she reads all the blogs so one way or another she will have to put up with me again.
Anyway, my friend from the hospital is now dating this hot girl. She was in our A&E rotation with us for a while. She ended up on his side of the ER more often and so they talked more and now they are dating. Recently my friend has told me that his new girlfriend wants to set me up with one of her friends and that she had told her we were very similar and all that jazz. The problem is, when we meet now I think it will be a little awkward. The one good thing is she hasn't told me this herself. And in fact, when I went out with my friend and her yesterday, she asked me if I was seeing anyone and if this girl I had mentioned and I were dating or anything. I told her I was single and that the girl I mentioned was just a good friend of mine. And she didn't mention anything about her friend or setting me up. That is a good thing because then as far as her or her friend know I don't know anything about this plan of theirs and I shouldn't feel any expectations or pressure or awkwardness when I do meet her friend.
These are the things I dwell on. I know it can't be healthy. Oh, but thanks to the magic of Facebook, I saw what the girl looks like. Very pretty. Then I wondered if she had seen me. Fuck, I don't have enough self esteem about my looks and if she hasn't seen me before she meets me then when she is inevitably not interested in me after we meet I will attribute it to my looks. We do have a lot in common from what my friend told me.
And now I am going home to Miami for 2 weeks, giving me plenty of time to dwell on this girl and my future rejection, especially as family members I haven't seen in a long time ask me "Are you dating anyone? You're still single? Why are you single?"
Holidays, huh? Damn nice weather down there though...
I was walking home from the hospital and was walking behind a very well proportioned woman. She had curves in all the right places, and it was an enjoyable view on the walk home. However, I remembered how much I would hate to be a woman when during her walk she was intercepted by a group of 3 not-so-young-but-still-want-to-pretend-to-be guys. One stepped into her path and did a half bow and began to "spit game" at her, or whatever they call it. I have no "game" so it all seems so foreign to me. She shakes her head and tries to side-step him while he continues his no doubt insightful banter.
As she passed him he began to slap his friends on their backs and shoulders while they all laughed. "That's how he do!" said one of the friends to another, who must have been slightly less familiar with how their mutual friend in fact does. I get upset by this behavior since it reflects poorly on all us men. Now, I can't speak for what women do or do not find sexy. I hear a lot of talk about confidence being sexy in men, and I surely am not one to talk since I often freeze up and become timid (at least initially and during the first few meetings) with women I find attractive, but this has to be too far to the other extreme. Way beyond confident and into the realm of douchebaggery. They were bumping into each other, laughing, slapping palms, and I couldn't understand it. Was he REALLY trying to impress her, or was he showing off to his friends by showing how confident and "alpha" he is with women. "Look at me boys, I try to talk to every pretty woman with aggressive and confident tactics, clearly I am a masculine and macho man!" Or did he really have a hope that this woman would have stopped walking home and engaged him in whatever philosophical question he posed? Did he imagine that interaction ending any way other than it did??
I'd like to hear what women think about this behavior. Maybe I am just upset he can do what I can't?
The second thing I was going to talk about was the weather. Fucking snow. I'm over that. Looks beautiful, it does. But I can't wait to get back to Miami, if even for just 2 weeks. However, I thought about another topic while ranting about the first one that I want to go in to.
Normally, there is one member here that helps me put things into better perspective when I am in a frazzle about women. This time however, I decided to just post this here and maybe spare her from once again hearing my troubles. Though, to be fair, she reads all the blogs so one way or another she will have to put up with me again.
Anyway, my friend from the hospital is now dating this hot girl. She was in our A&E rotation with us for a while. She ended up on his side of the ER more often and so they talked more and now they are dating. Recently my friend has told me that his new girlfriend wants to set me up with one of her friends and that she had told her we were very similar and all that jazz. The problem is, when we meet now I think it will be a little awkward. The one good thing is she hasn't told me this herself. And in fact, when I went out with my friend and her yesterday, she asked me if I was seeing anyone and if this girl I had mentioned and I were dating or anything. I told her I was single and that the girl I mentioned was just a good friend of mine. And she didn't mention anything about her friend or setting me up. That is a good thing because then as far as her or her friend know I don't know anything about this plan of theirs and I shouldn't feel any expectations or pressure or awkwardness when I do meet her friend.
These are the things I dwell on. I know it can't be healthy. Oh, but thanks to the magic of Facebook, I saw what the girl looks like. Very pretty. Then I wondered if she had seen me. Fuck, I don't have enough self esteem about my looks and if she hasn't seen me before she meets me then when she is inevitably not interested in me after we meet I will attribute it to my looks. We do have a lot in common from what my friend told me.
And now I am going home to Miami for 2 weeks, giving me plenty of time to dwell on this girl and my future rejection, especially as family members I haven't seen in a long time ask me "Are you dating anyone? You're still single? Why are you single?"
Holidays, huh? Damn nice weather down there though...
04/11: Weather and life.
If you catch a bolt of lightning, try to never let it go. But it's not as easy as Vedder will have us believe.
Sometimes it burns too much and the more you squeeze tighter the more it shines out from between your fingers.
Been a long time since I've heard thunder anyway. But at least it's not raining.
Sometimes it burns too much and the more you squeeze tighter the more it shines out from between your fingers.
Been a long time since I've heard thunder anyway. But at least it's not raining.
Today is Thursday, and Thursday is lecture day for us students on our surgery rotation. One of our lecturers was a pediatric surgeon I was looking forward to listening to. He spoke about acute appendicitis, the most common cause of abdominal pain in children that requires surgical intervention.
He mentioned his technique for palpating the abdomen of a child in pain, and it involved dividing the abdomen into 4 quadrants. Appendicitis is usually focused on the lower right quadrant. He asks the kid to count to four as he softly taps each side. Number one? No pain. Number two? No pain. Number three? No pain. Maybe slight pain. Number four? Pain! "Doing it this way, 99% of the time you can't go wrong with number four." He says.
"But I also uncover their feet and expose their toes to see if they curl as a sign of pain because sometimes they will try to be strong and say no pain because they don't want to stay in the hospital or have surgery."
It became harder for me to stay concentrated on what he said after. I started thinking about examining number four's soft abdomen, tracing along with my fingers. Watching her toes curl, then letting my hand wander all the way to them and bringing her soft foot to my mouth.
You really can't go wrong with number four.
I'm glad I know her. And I really hope to meet her.
He mentioned his technique for palpating the abdomen of a child in pain, and it involved dividing the abdomen into 4 quadrants. Appendicitis is usually focused on the lower right quadrant. He asks the kid to count to four as he softly taps each side. Number one? No pain. Number two? No pain. Number three? No pain. Maybe slight pain. Number four? Pain! "Doing it this way, 99% of the time you can't go wrong with number four." He says.
"But I also uncover their feet and expose their toes to see if they curl as a sign of pain because sometimes they will try to be strong and say no pain because they don't want to stay in the hospital or have surgery."
It became harder for me to stay concentrated on what he said after. I started thinking about examining number four's soft abdomen, tracing along with my fingers. Watching her toes curl, then letting my hand wander all the way to them and bringing her soft foot to my mouth.
You really can't go wrong with number four.
I'm glad I know her. And I really hope to meet her.
Wow, it's been a while since I have blogged. I have meant to on many occasions, but eventually felt whatever I was going to write was too boring. Not that this is exciting, by any means, but I figure if I start getting anything down maybe I can get back to becoming a more regular blogger.
So, what I have been up to since my last entry. Only 4 more weeks on my Surgery rotation. I can't wait for it to be finished. The hours are killer and I have had enough of surgeries. It has been pretty cool to see how all these procedures are done though. I'm pretty sure I can take a gallbladder out by myself now haha.
A few weeks ago my sister and her boyfriend came to visit me. It was nice seeing her (fine, and him too I guess) since I hadn't since I left Miami. They stayed in my apartment and we went to visit a few places in Manhattan and a few nice places to eat. It was good times. Having he here and not being able to get on the site as much did remind me of a story from when I was younger. I don't remember how old exactly, but let's call it 8th grade or so. My sister had a friend who had the biggest crush on me. I felt bad because I really wasn't interested, but her and I did hang out and talk sometimes. One time the discussion got a bit sexual, and we were both young and curious. She asked me what my penis size was! I had measured it, but was ashamed of the size so I'd always push the ruler into my pelvis as far as it could go. I got to 5 1/2 inches. Not amazingly impressive, but at least I broke 5 inches. So this is the number I told her. The embarrassing part came when one day I heard my sister talking to her in her room which in my parent's old house used to be connected to a common bathroom that was connected to my room that my sister and I shared. I could hear her whispering and at one point it sounded like she was trying to hint she didn't want to say more right now. Her friend didn't catch on, probably because she didn't know how easily my sister and I could hear each other from our rooms so my sister used what I assume was a code name for me.
"Five." She said.
"Five?"
"Five.....and a half"
"OH!!" said her friend.
I was so embarrassed! I also immediately thought, thank god I didn't say 4 inches! How would my sister look at her "big" brother!
That was a long time ago and I am sure she doesn't remember that by now. Or if she does, she probably thinks the size has changed since it was so long ago ;)
Next week some friends from Miami are also coming to visit me. They are close enough friends that they know about my internet proclivities, so I will still probably be able to spend some time here. One is a guy and the other is his long-time friend and now girlfriend. Maybe I can even convince her to join the site! ;)
So, what I have been up to since my last entry. Only 4 more weeks on my Surgery rotation. I can't wait for it to be finished. The hours are killer and I have had enough of surgeries. It has been pretty cool to see how all these procedures are done though. I'm pretty sure I can take a gallbladder out by myself now haha.
A few weeks ago my sister and her boyfriend came to visit me. It was nice seeing her (fine, and him too I guess) since I hadn't since I left Miami. They stayed in my apartment and we went to visit a few places in Manhattan and a few nice places to eat. It was good times. Having he here and not being able to get on the site as much did remind me of a story from when I was younger. I don't remember how old exactly, but let's call it 8th grade or so. My sister had a friend who had the biggest crush on me. I felt bad because I really wasn't interested, but her and I did hang out and talk sometimes. One time the discussion got a bit sexual, and we were both young and curious. She asked me what my penis size was! I had measured it, but was ashamed of the size so I'd always push the ruler into my pelvis as far as it could go. I got to 5 1/2 inches. Not amazingly impressive, but at least I broke 5 inches. So this is the number I told her. The embarrassing part came when one day I heard my sister talking to her in her room which in my parent's old house used to be connected to a common bathroom that was connected to my room that my sister and I shared. I could hear her whispering and at one point it sounded like she was trying to hint she didn't want to say more right now. Her friend didn't catch on, probably because she didn't know how easily my sister and I could hear each other from our rooms so my sister used what I assume was a code name for me.
"Five." She said.
"Five?"
"Five.....and a half"
"OH!!" said her friend.
I was so embarrassed! I also immediately thought, thank god I didn't say 4 inches! How would my sister look at her "big" brother!
That was a long time ago and I am sure she doesn't remember that by now. Or if she does, she probably thinks the size has changed since it was so long ago ;)
Next week some friends from Miami are also coming to visit me. They are close enough friends that they know about my internet proclivities, so I will still probably be able to spend some time here. One is a guy and the other is his long-time friend and now girlfriend. Maybe I can even convince her to join the site! ;)
06/09: Penis Evaluation
I got a call from my friend today, same friend I wrote about on the board that I confessed my penis size to and admitted I was a "small dicked idiot". She wanted to watch "Inglorious Basterds" (Actual spelling of the movie, before anyone says anything). The movie was OK.
After, we met up with some of her friends (all female) and they went out to a club/bar but my friend and I needed to eat, so we left them and went to eat just the 2 of us. While eating, somehow penis size came up again. Now, when I told her about my size last time, it started because she made a joke about me being small and after we laughed she said "One of these days I'm going to have to just get you to whip it out and settle this once and for all."
So with that in mind, when penis size came up today I mentioned I'd like for her to take a look at it and tell me what she thought. I said I was a little concerned because before she knew I was 4 inches, she had told me stories about 2 guys she had met who were about 4 inches one of which she slept with and was awful, and the other she even refused to sleep with when she saw it! So I said I wanted her to be honest about what she thought of mine.
So after dinner I bought her some drinks and off we went to her place. I took him out and she studied him carefully. It was arousing to show my friend my penis and have her inspect and evaluate it while she remained clothed. She took her time looking at it from different angles and then said "Well, it certainly is very short. Less than average, but a solid 4 inches. It has a lot more girth than I expected though. Very decent girth actually."
So I asked her if I would get the same treatment as the man she wouldn't sleep with and she said no, my girth was much better and maybe "manageable" So I was very pleased with that =)
She also said I didn't look too distraught or obsessed with my penis size which was a good thing.
So that was a very nice time. I asked to let me massage her feet but she refused to let me ;)
After, we met up with some of her friends (all female) and they went out to a club/bar but my friend and I needed to eat, so we left them and went to eat just the 2 of us. While eating, somehow penis size came up again. Now, when I told her about my size last time, it started because she made a joke about me being small and after we laughed she said "One of these days I'm going to have to just get you to whip it out and settle this once and for all."
So with that in mind, when penis size came up today I mentioned I'd like for her to take a look at it and tell me what she thought. I said I was a little concerned because before she knew I was 4 inches, she had told me stories about 2 guys she had met who were about 4 inches one of which she slept with and was awful, and the other she even refused to sleep with when she saw it! So I said I wanted her to be honest about what she thought of mine.
So after dinner I bought her some drinks and off we went to her place. I took him out and she studied him carefully. It was arousing to show my friend my penis and have her inspect and evaluate it while she remained clothed. She took her time looking at it from different angles and then said "Well, it certainly is very short. Less than average, but a solid 4 inches. It has a lot more girth than I expected though. Very decent girth actually."
So I asked her if I would get the same treatment as the man she wouldn't sleep with and she said no, my girth was much better and maybe "manageable" So I was very pleased with that =)
She also said I didn't look too distraught or obsessed with my penis size which was a good thing.
So that was a very nice time. I asked to let me massage her feet but she refused to let me ;)